So where did we leave off last time? That's right: we covered how for over a decade, Google has been paying an army of sparsely-educated staffing agency drones to masquerade not only as Google employees, but Google Ads experts in order to get you to spend more and more money on Google Ads. They still do, but their messages have more disclosures than ever before. Many of their sig files now contain their google.com email address followed immediately by a line that clarifies they aren't actually Google employees. Now, I've never had one come to my door to make their mandatory notification, but I'm just sayin' -- the sheepishness I hear in these sig files is exactly what I'd expect to hear from a sex offender who got their hands caught … [Read more...]
Google Partners Rewards: The Super-Practical Prizes Hiding In Plain Sight
I don't know how long ago it was and I'm too lazy to look, but I'm gonna say it was around 10-15 years ago that Google came up with Partner Rewards for agencies. Basically it was the Google Ads version of going to the ticket gift shop at Dave & Buster's -- the more advertisers you brought in and got to spend more and more of their money with Google, the more points you got, and then at the end of each quarter, you can redeem them for prizes. They weren't necessarily world-rocking gifts by any means; it was almost always Google-branded merch of various kinds -- clothes, inexpensive tech, games, etc., all the way up to the mother lode, which was a Google Partners branded ping-pong table for the office. Way better exchange rate than Dave … [Read more...]
Google Thinks You’re Stupid, Part I: Those “Google Ads Experts” In Your Inbox
So how are those "Google Ads Expert" emails treating you? You know, the ones who today send you more useless bullshit emails than all of your aunts and uncles combined sent you during the AOL years? They always seem to have exactly the solution you and your clients need for big ol' honkin' bang up success that you, you lowly bread-crust of an account manager, could only dream of figuring out on your own. If your back hurts while you're reading this for no good reason at all, you may have been doing this for as long as I have and remember a time when these communications were actually welcome. When an actual Google employee, sitting in Mountain View or maybe Ann Arbor, would reach out with some great options. Sure, they were hoping … [Read more...]